


A punch to my heart

by Lunayfirefly



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Band, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beginnings, Best Friends, Cute Kids, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Jealousy, Memories, Mentioned Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Mentioned Kim Jongin | Kai, Multi, Personal Growth, Relationship(s), Understanding, Unrequited Love, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23148712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunayfirefly/pseuds/Lunayfirefly
Summary: If only knowing wushu was enough to protect him.If only his heart wasn’t that weak.A heart so in love, so in love with someone that didn’t feel the same.Because for Tao knowing wushu seemed useless at this point.Because not even knowing wushu could protect him from the punches Kris had given to his heart.The love so pure he felt for his best friend was nothing.It was nothing when the other one already had somebody to love.And when Tao couldn’t fight anymore with his own strength a guardian angel appeared to make him smile again.But was that protection enough to mend his broken heart?
Relationships: Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao/Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao/Wu Yi Fan | Kris, Wu Yi Fan | Kris/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 13





	1. Punch I

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I wrote back in 2013 and posted it in another site by the username Ttiyfb.  
> Because now I'm posting all my stories in this site, I wanted to reach back and bring here one of the first stories I wrote.  
> Hope you like it :D

Tao held his Gucci bag with one hand and with the other he held his cellphone as his eyes scanned for the third time the message Kris sent him.

The disappointment was clear in his features and he sighed before lying on his bed holding the bag to his chest.

The bag was perfect.

It was the one he wanted to buy for a long time, and it was one of the topics of the last conversation he had with Kris.

Almost a month ago.

But now he couldn’t even show him that he bought it with his well-earned pay from the wushu academy in which he worked.

And Tao knew the bag wasn’t important, but he at least wanted to find an excuse to why he felt so disappointed when he read the message.

Maybe because this time he actually believed Kris will visit him?

Or maybe because it was the tenth time in the month that he believed that?

No, he was sure it was because the message had changed from “I’m busy with work” to “I’m busy”

Busy with what?

That was the question Tao had in his mind as his arms hugged the bag even tighter.

He still couldn’t believe how their friendship had changed so much.

From growing together in China, living together while they struggled to adapt in Korea and having the best years of his life to:

Barely seeing his best friend.

Barely talking to him.

Barely feeling that he was a bit important for the person that he loved the most in the world.

Because he couldn’t say no to Kris.

When the other said he was going to move because he needed space and didn’t want to be a burden to Tao, the latter accepted.

He wanted to say no, he actually said no, but only in the silence when Kris was already asleep.

Because he had the hope that Kris would miss him so much that would return to his side in a short time.

A hope that decreased with the days.

Days in which Kris wouldn’t let Tao visit him.

Days in which Kris wouldn’t visit him.

Days in which Kris wouldn’t answer to his messages.

Days like today in which Tao felt so lonely that he wished he had said no when Kris said he wanted to move out.

But no, he wasn’t going to get depressed anymore.

If Kris was busy and was at home at least he could prepare dinner for him and talk a bit.

He had the hope he was at home, a blind faith that if he put enough effort, at least Kris will keep him by his side as a best friend.

Because the hopes of having his love in another way seemed so distant.

It was in high school when hormones kicked and while Kris got interested in girls, Tao got interested in the now blonde friend of his.

Sometimes he wished they would return to the time when they were kids.

Like his afternoon students.

Jongin, that insisted to be called Kai, and Kyungsoo.

The eight years old kids would be fighting all class but before departing they would always give each other a big smile and a hug.

Kai loved to tease Kyungsoo dusting his uniform or pulling his belt making him fall, and the embarrassed little kid will only blush and blink his big eyes.

But when it was class time, Kyungsoo will have his payback as he displayed a great ability when angry and will punch Kai right in the face.

And Tao could clearly remember Kai’s crying face, really similar to a small Kris’ face when they were kids and Tao was practicing wushu with his friend.

But that was in the past, a long time ago.

Now in their twenties Tao was teaching wushu and Kris was a music composer.

And even when both of them suffered from economic difficulties when they moved to Korea, Kris was so easygoing that he adapted easily; while Tao was still struggling with his Korean sometimes.

But everything seemed better when he was with Kris.

But now everything was dark and depressing, reminding him that Kris was practically ignoring him.

But he wasn’t going to cry, he knew better than that because Kris had told him that he didn’t like it when he cried.

So he wasn’t going to cry.

And as he walked to best friend’s house with the blue jacket that Kris had once bought him he started smiling.

He could only image Kris surprised face when he met his panda eyes.

But all his illusions died when he saw Kris at the other side of the street, his arm around the waist of a black haired girl that giggled hitting him softly with her Gucci bag.

Tao’s world seemed to stop and he chocked.

He felt it.

The punch to his heart and he couldn’t block it.

It hurt.

It hurt so much he couldn’t breathe.

“I don’t like when you cry Zi Tao”

Those were Kris’ words long time ago.

“Then why are you making me cry?”

That was Tao’s answer in silence when he saw his best friend kissing the girl.

He wanted to look away.

To run away from the scene that punched his heart like a martial arts master.

But he couldn’t.

Not when his best friend’s gaze turned to him and a small grew on his face.

And Tao had no more option than to wipe his tears rapidly with the sleeve of his jacket.

Because the couple was approaching him faster than he wanted.

And a thousand thoughts came to him mind in those seconds.

But he could only put on smile when they were in front of him.

Because he couldn’t hate the girl in front of him.

He couldn’t because she wasn’t at fault that he was in love with his best friend.


	2. Punch II

“Huang Zi Tao” Kris repeated for the fifth time when his best friend finally looked up.

He only looked up because he recognized that concerned tone in Kris voice and the fact that he had called him by his full name made him feel warm.

He hadn’t been called like that in a long time by Kris.

But that short exchange of glances he had with his best friend didn’t last long when he heard the black haired girl’s voice.

“Your bag is Gucci too!” She said excitedly pointing to Tao’s bag.

And on the contrary to Kris, he didn’t smile and just bit his lip to Kris’ next words.

“It seems that the two of you will get along really well.”

But Tao just stayed in silence while the girl introduced herself.

He didn’t care about her or about her name and he didn’t care to reply, but he supposed she already knew who he was when Kris called him by his name.

“You are Tao, right?” She asked with a smile, but he just looked at her in silence.

Feeling the awkward atmosphere Kris knew something was off.

“Didn’t I tell you?” His words directed to Tao.

No.

“What?” Tao asked with fear in his voice.

“I thought I had told you…” Kris murmured but Tao heard him as he had blocked all the sounds from around only to focus on Kris voice and his racing heart.

“Well, she is my girlfriend.” He said in his easygoing voice obviously not knowing the impact of his words on Tao.

Because he had seen it.

The way Kris put his arm around her.

The way Kris kissed her.

But listening from his mouth was even more hurtful.

And the words he had used punched his heart once again.

They weren’t just friends, they weren’t just dating, they were a couple.

Girlfriend.

That meant feelings.

And Tao’s heart felt the impact of the punch even stronger.

Kris didn’t even remember not telling him.

He didn’t care about him anymore.

Not even as a friend.

And this time Tao wanted to let the waterfalls that were threating to fall from his eyes free.

So without a word he turned around, his eyes turning blurry as he ran to the opposite direction leaving the confused couple behind.

He heard his name being called but he didn’t care anymore.

He had lost the hope that Kris would run to catch him.

But somebody did catch him when he tripped while running.

He couldn’t see the person’s face through his tears, but after a soft ‘thanks’ he started running again until he reached home.

He threw his blue jacket and his Gucci bag to the floor before his own body hit the bed and the pillow muffled his sobs.

Everything was worse than ever.

Kris had dated many girls.

Kissed many girls.

And Tao suffered in silence each time.

But Kris had never had a girlfriend.

But now his heart was receiving a punch per each thing Kris did with his girlfriend.

Kris’ girlfriend.

A girl.

A person Tao could never compete with.

Because this just reminded him one more time that Kris will never love him back in the same way he loves him.

So Tao cried until he fell asleep not really wanting to go to work the next day.

The next day that arrived to fast for his throbbing head.

But he would have never expected to see the smiley face of his best friend as soon as he woke up.

Tao opened his eyes slowly, the light of the day hurting his eyes when he saw Kris face that held a bright smile close to his.

He moved away from the shock almost falling from the bed if not from Kris arms around his waist.

And Tao wanted to faint.

It seemed that Kris knew perfectly how to punch his heart either in the worse or the best way.

Tao was blushing trying to calm himself after he yelped when he acknowledged the sudden presence that lay beside him.

And Kris started to laugh.

A precious laugh that Tao loved so much.

All of this was so unfair.

How much he wanted to wake up every day like this.

With Kris smiling face and his arms around his waist.

If only confessing was that easy.

If only his best friend loved him back.

“And I thought you have changed the hiding place of the spare key so I couldn’t scare you anymore.” Kris said between his laughs.

But Tao just gave him a small smile.

He would never change it.

Because he wanted to Kris to enter whenever he wanted.

He was more than willing to have him back in his life when he wanted.

And even when that meant he would come at midnight and scare him while he was sleeping.

An occurrence that haven’t happened in a long time.

But it was nice to have him again by his side.

Waking up with him by his side.

Cooking breakfast for him.

And even when not even a word was mentioned about the day before, Tao knew Kris eyes were fixed on him trying to find answers.

“Are you ok?” Kris finally asked when they sat in front of each other in the kitchen table.

“If you are here everything is ok.” Tao always wanted to say.

And he actually said it this time, blushing a bit making him look down to his dish.

He heard Kris chuckle and continue eating without asking any questions.

That’s why he was his best friend.

He wouldn’t ask more if Tao wasn’t answering.

If only he could read him a bit more, a bit deeper.

If only he could read his feeling for him. His love.

“Do you want to play basketball this weekend?” Kris asked all of the sudden and Tao couldn’t believe it.

Was this actually happening?

Playing basketball together?

Like in the old times?

But he wouldn’t question that anymore and he just nodded with a big smile on his face.

“Then see you on Saturday.” Kris said standing up after reading a message on his phone making Tao’s smile disappear.

“Kris…” Tao called softly but Kris was already walking to the door after giving him a small wave and a ‘thank you for the food’.

And Tao sighed, his appetite gone when he heard Kris voice saying “I will arrive soon babe” through the phone before he closed the door.

“At least I’ll see you on Saturday” Tao said to the empty chair that Kris used a moment ago without knowing that Saturday wasn’t going to be the way he expected.


	3. Punch III

“Stop it Jongin!” Kyungsoo shouted in a frustrated tone stomping his foot on the floor as he glared at his little friend.

“It is Kai~” The other kid said with a sing song voice walking around Kyungsoo in circles before he was stopped by Tao’s hand on his shoulder.

“Come on, get ready for class.” He said already in his uniform and going to the front of the room.

And Kyungsoo stuck out his tongue to Jongin before running behind Tao.

The class ended and Tao realized that the rest of the week had passed faster than what he imagined and he was really excited for his meeting his Kris the next day.

His excitement showing to his small students as he got a lot of energy for his Friday class.

Then the parents came to pick up their kids giving warm smiles to Tao before leaving.

“My mom is late again.” Jongin whined sitting in the bench next to the door.

Tao sighed sitting next to him. Jongin wouldn’t mind her mom being late if Kyungsoo haven’t left a moment ago.

“She will come really soon.” And after Tao said those words Jongin’s mother appeared at the door panting.

“Let’s go Jongin. I need to return to work soon.” She said in a tired tone. “Luckily your cousin moved with us and he will pick you up from Monday onwards.” She continued holding Jongin’s hand as they went out.

But Tao wasn’t paying attention anymore as he started cleaning the floor with a smile on his face waiting for the next day when he would spend the day with Kris.

And the Saturday arrived with an even more energized Tao wearing sport clothes and ready with a lunchbox of kimbab and bottles of water, but not enough food or water for three.

The black haired girl waved at him as soon as he reached the basketball court while Tao looked around searching for Kris.

“Hi! Kris went to buy me some water.” She said cheerfully in her shorts and blue t-shirt.

Tao nodded hiding on his back what he had brought.

“I always forget how you are always prepared for everything.”

The sudden voice of Kris made Tao turn around with a smile as he showed him the lunchbox and the bottles.

Kris smiled back before his attention turned to the girl that was dribbling the ball skillfully.

Tao sighed as Kris attention wasn’t on him anymore.

Attention that was stolen by Kris’ girlfriend for the rest of the game.

Playing basketball was something they shared as best friends and they always played when they were happy or stressed.

But this time it seemed that Tao wasn’t even part of the game.

Maybe because the girl was actually good at playing basketball or due to the fact that he couldn’t stop looking at Kris’ smile that was only directed to her.

But Tao could never thank his fast reflects more than ever when he responded exactly before a soccer ball hit his head.

And behind it a young boy came running behind.

“I’m sorry, sorry…” He said bowing while panting before picking the ball Tao had stopped with his hand.

Tao nodded before looking over to where Kris and the girl stood only to see his friend standing in front of her protecting her.

Tao almost scoffed noticing that there was no way the ball would have hit her.

But he didn’t do it because the air left his lungs with the punch his heart received noticing how Kris haven’t even move to check how he was.

And even when the young boy started walking away Kris didn’t say a word.

Nothing at all.

And Tao didn’t know what to feel anymore.

In the past Kris would have defended him.

Would have asked for more than an apology.

Would have hugged him asking if he was ok, but now he didn’t even move.

He just stood there hugging the trembling girl in his arms.

And Tao wanted to cry again.

Was he asking for something so difficult?

He just wanted his friend back.

Because he was already hopeless at love.

And his heart received one more punch when he heard Kris’ voice.

“Tao, let’s keep playing.”

Was he a masochist?

If not, why was he smiling when he looked at the blond guy that just passed him the ball?

Maybe he was a masochist indeed.

Or maybe he wasn’t.

Because he stopped playing after passing the ball to the girl like saying ‘it’s yours’.

But was he ready to give up?

After all this time?

Even when he knew he didn’t have chances at love with Kris his heart was still yearning for it.

But it was time to give up.

His beating heart could only take that much.

Or that was what he thought.

But he didn’t want to think anymore as he drank water in the near benches listening to Kris’ laugh.

A laugh that he wished to share, but it seemed that only punches to the heart were what he could receive.


	4. Punch IV

Kimbab was disgusting. But that seemed only for Tao as Kris and the girl ate it as the most delicious thing in the world giggling.

Giggling.

He haven’t had moments like that with Kris in a long time, but now even while enjoying the sound, Tao was so far from sharing that moment.

And Sunday was just as horrible.

Alone again, only with the memories of the past days and he just wanted to cry his heart out.

But he didn’t.

Because Kris didn’t like it when he cried.

So he went to the academy and drained all his energy at practicing the sport he liked so much trying to forget everything until he collapsed in the floor breathing heavily.

He knew he wasn’t the most sociable person, but was it that hard to find friends?

Anyone, just anyone that could take Kris out of his mind for a second.

Somebody that would at least try to block the punches that Kris gave him every time he saw the other.

And in that way Monday arrived and Tao had to return to work where his young students would be engrossed in their simple lives.

Nothing more than school, sports and playing.

A simple life that didn’t involve bills and a broken heart.

“Jongin!!!” Tao heard Kyungsoo’s frustrated voice as he ran towards the other kid his eyes bigger than ever pointing to the green and orange marks on his uniform.

Just another normal day.

And as the kids left one by one only leaving the problematic Jongin and Kyungsoo, a new face entered the class at the same time as Kyungsoo’s mother.

“Hyung!” Jongin shouted hugging the other one calling Tao’s attention when he greeted Kyungsoo’s mother.

Tao turned to look at the new guy that entered the room with a warm expression.

He had to give a good impression to the relatives of the children he taught, like the professional he was.

But as he got closer he noted that the other guy also wear a warm expression, his dark red hair and caring eyes as he stood next to Jongin.

“I’m Tao, I’m the instructor here.”

“I’m Joonmyeon, but you can call me Suho. I’m Jongin’s cousin.”

“It’s Kai!” the little kid whined from his place.

And Tao chuckled in his mind.

Did changing their name was something that run in their family?

Nevertheless, they exchanged a small smiled as they bowed while Jongin went to say goodbye to Kyungsoo.

They stood in silence for a moment looking at each other or more like Tao looking at the floor as Joonmyeon looked at him like trying to remember something.

“I think I have seen you before.” The latter said suddenly and Tao looked up questioningly.

But the other didn’t say anything more and just fidgeted with his fingers for a moment.

“Umm..It’s ok…if not like you have to remember me…Even I don’t remember well…” Joonmyeon chuckled embarrassed when he finally talked, putting a small smile on Tao’s face.

Was that a lame attempt to flirt with him?

It’s not like Tao haven’t had anyone wooing him before.

There was a time when a guy was trying to date him and Kris pushed him away not even understanding what the other guy’s actual intentions were.

“I don’t want you to have another best friend!” Kris had complained pouting.

And Tao had laughed so hard that he ended up crying.

Kris really didn’t get what was all about, didn’t he?

Maybe that’s why he was so afraid to even admit he didn’t like girls.

Kris maybe suspected or maybe he didn’t, but admitting he wasn’t into girls was partially admitting he was in love with his best friend.

And even when that was true, he wasn’t ready for a total rejection from the other, even cutting their friendship.

He wouldn’t be able to take that punch.

But the guy in front of him seemed friendly and had a caring aura around him.

It was something Tao didn’t know how to describe, but it gave him a feeling of security.

“Let’s go.” Joonmyeon said with that warm smile of his walking with Jongin to the door after saying goodbye to Tao.

Tao looked at the door that the guy and the kid had just passed by wishing to see those warm eyes and smile once again.

They made him feel a certain peace.

A peace that was destroyed when his phone rang and a message from Kris appeared on the screen.

“Have dinner with us on Wednesday.” Tao read the message slowly.

Us.

No, he wasn’t excited at all for that dinner.

Not after last Saturday in which he practically begged Kris to contact him.

And he hated to beg.

“Kris…” He called holding Kris’ wrist, his friend and the girl’s eyes on him.

He didn’t want them to go.

Even when he was suffering it was better than not being able to see Kris at all.

They didn’t have to leave that early.

“We have to go Tao.” Kris said pulling the girl next to him letting her stand in front of Tao neither of them noticing how her height was practically the same as the panda eyed boy.

“Then…then…can we meet tomorrow? Or on Monday? Any day is fine.” Tao said still holding his friend’s wrist.

He was trying desperately to find Kris’ gaze but the later was looking to the floor like remembering his schedule.

“I don’t know…I’ll text you. Now we have to go.” Kris finally said waving goodbye to him with a smile as he set his hand free.

Was Tao really going to a dinner with the love of his life and his girlfriend?

If only they were just friends everything would be fine.

Everything seemed so simple for Kris that looked at their relationship like this, but for Tao everything was a punch to the heart.


	5. Punch V

Tao’s heart was racing.

It wasn’t healthy at all for it to beat at that pace, but he couldn’t control it when Kris face was so close to his while his hand caressed his face.

“You are so beautiful, Tao.”

Drunken people don’t lie.

Everyone knows that.

And Tao’s heart was about to explode.

Only eighteen and about to die.

At least dying from happiness would be a good reason as every touch of Kris left him breathless and his heart beat faster than ever.

But his dream of dying from happiness never happened as Kris passed out in front of him almost bringing him down with him.

But that was an event Tao will never be able to forget.

He had never been so close to Kris like that.

Well, at least after the moment he started feeling something for the other boy.

And he swear he would never forget that moment, because Kris had called him beautiful looking him directly to the eyes.

And even when his friend’s eyes were a bit clouded by the alcohol in his body, Tao knew or at least he wanted to believe his words were true and that Kris actually thought he was beautiful.

That’s why he kept his hair black through all these years while Kris dyed his hair blonde.

And also those words, those meaningful words, even with all the pain of seeing Kris with other girls, were the ones that kept him going through a healthy diet and continue exercise.

But Tao still wished to hear those words again.

Even if it had to be in the same kind of situation.

He wanted that revitalizing punch to his heart that only Kris could give him with his words.

So maybe going to the dinner wasn’t such a bad idea.

Tao snickered imagining the girl’s face if Kris would call him beautiful in front of her.

But he had to stop laughing alone to avoid the questioning glances that his young students were giving him and started his class.

He seemed really different when he was practicing wushu.

He seemed so strong and all his students admired him with eyes widened just like Kyungsoo’s.

And he actually liked his job.

It helped the kids with discipline, well most of them.

Helped them with their self-esteem and it was good for their health.

Unless they disobeyed the rules.

Like Jongin, who broke his leg the year before because he tried to jump like Tao, falling painfully to the floor.

But Tao still considered him a good student and he had a special place in his heart next to Kyungsoo.

Their friendship reminding him so much to Kris and his during their childhood.

And it wasn’t like Tao wanted to seem weak.

He actually had a strong stare if it wasn’t for his panda eyes and he always seemed serious with strangers.

And he liked to have a work and be economically independent.

But love was something he couldn’t control and he knew his heart only beat for Kris as painfully as it was.

But for the moment he couldn’t get into that as his students were waiting for him to start the class.

And it was only an hour and half later that the new but at the same time familiar face entered the place to pick up his cousin giving his warm smile to Tao.

The latter responded to the smile before bowing a bit when he was in front of the other.

“Umm…” Joonmyeon seemed nervous every time he started to talk and that was something Tao found cute.

Like Kris and his funny attempts in Korean when they first arrived.

“I, I remembered when I saw you before…It was the first day I came back to Seoul. You were running and tripped, I helped you and you looked at me while…crying…” He said the last word really softly.

“Are you ok now?”

Was Tao ok now?

Kris was nowhere in sight…so how can things be ok?

But Tao still nodded with a small smile noticing the concerned face in front of him.

He didn’t want to remember that day and it’s not like Joonmyeon and he were friends to discuss that topic.

But after that question everything turned awkward, the silence between them getting longer and only the tiny voices of the kids in the back could be heard.

So Tao looked at them, trying to distract himself from the silence watching how Jongin hugged Kyungsoo before the latter disappeared from the door.

And Jongin returned to his cousin’s side pulling his sleeve.

“Let’s go Hyung.” And Joonmyeon nodded.

“See you tomorrow, Jongin.” Tao said when they started turning around.

“It’s Kai!” The little kid whined glaring at his cousin that started chuckling.

“Whatever you say, Jongin~” Joonmyeon said joining Tao’s fun making the other’s smile grow before they left the place.

It was so much fun to tease the kid.

And from that day onwards it would be Suho leaving and picking up Kai from class instead of the kid’s mother.

And Tao didn’t mind at all.


	6. Punch VI

Tao didn’t remember when was the last time he had laughed so much without having Kris by his side.

Suho’s embarrassed face couldn’t be red enough to cover what had just happened.

He had ripped the backside of his pants while trying to copy a wushu movement from Tao and that’s why Tao always said that you shouldn’t practice with tight jeans.

And that was something he had learnt in the same way as Suho, making the scene even funnier for him.

“Suho...” Tao called the other trying to control his laugh as Kai and Kyungsoo were still laughing of the floor next to Suho.

Tao gave the other a pair of pants showing him the way to the restroom before giving the two kids a glass of water to help them calm down from their laugh attack.

It was a moment after that Kyungsoo’s mother appeared at the door and the little kid had to leave leaving behind a pouting Jongin.

And Tao sighed. He knew better than anyone how the kid was feeling when his little friend just walked away from him.

“Thanks again.” Suho said as he appeared again, his ripped pants in one hand as the other pointed at the training pants Tao gave him.

Tao nodded before the scene he saw everyday happened again.

“Let’s go hyung!” Jongin said pulling his cousin’s sleeve, but this time Suho’s eyes remained a bit longer on Tao making the panda eyed boy a bit uncomfortable.

He was getting used to the gentle gaze that Suho gave him every time he came, but this time the other wasn’t looking away.

Tao blinked before looking down.

He had to admit that somehow that look made him nervous, maybe because no one had looked at him like that in a long time.

“I’m glad that I made you laugh.” Suho said in a soft tone putting his hand over Tao’s shoulder surprising the other as he didn’t notice when Suho got so close to him.

Tao looked up not sure if the comment was made as a sarcastic remark, but he only found Suho gentle smile and gaze.

And Tao had to smile back.

Should he say ‘you are welcome’?

He chuckled at that thought only to earn a bigger smile from Suho.

“See you tomorrow Tao.”

“See you tomorrow Suho.” He replied with a small smile.

“Hey! I’ll be here tomorrow too!” Kai interrupted their moment earning a surprised look from the other two.

“Don’t talk like that to your elders Jongin.” Suho said in soft voice before putting his hand over Kai’s mouth before this one could reply.

And as Tao looked at them walking outside the place his smile grew.

He was glad that he had met Suho.

They haven’t talked that much, only a few words when the other picked up Kai because he was always in a hurry before the class started.

But Tao still felt glad, because Suho was always so nice to him making him smile and asking him how was he doing, like a friend should do.

But even with all that he hoped that his best friend would do the same as the new guy that suddenly appeared in his life.

He wished Kris would actually care about his whereabouts and his day, but it seemed that the other only looked for Tao when it was convenient for him.

Because Tao had said no to Kris for the first time; rejecting the dinner invitation.

But his best friend always had a way of convincing him, whining like a kid on the phone.

And Kris had won once again, practically forcing Tao to go with him and his girlfriend on Friday to a restaurant near his workplace.

And Tao was not prepared at all, because Friday had arrived too fast.

Because he had realized that the moment to go to that dinner had arrived after Suho and Jongin completely disappeared from his sight.

And Tao sighed.

The dinner had to be formal, just like he liked.

That thought appeared at his mind as sarcastic as it could sound as he put on his suit.

He arrived on time to the restaurant not knowing if he should call Kris before entering when the doorman opened the door waiting for him to enter.

Tao bowed politely and entered only to be approached by other person from the staff that indicated him the table that Kris had reserved for them.

Tao walked with heavy steps until he arrived to the table.

Kris looked up at him with a smile. The smile Tao liked so much.

And also seen Kris with a suit made the scene even more pleasant for him.

“Sit down Tao, we were waiting for you.” Kris said in a calm tone still smiling.

And Tao wished he could change that ‘we’ for ‘I’.

Just like he was always waiting for Kris.

But the small smile he gave back to his friend grew when without having to open the menu Kris knew what he wanted to eat.

Tao haven’t noticed how this restaurant was really similar to the one they had been long time ago when they first got a job in Korea.

They were so happy that they decided to celebrate in a fancy restaurant and he was feeling a wave of happiness that Kris also seemed to remember that event.

But it seemed that the happy moments between them weren’t meant to last as he heard the voice of Kris’ girlfriend.

“Oh~ I wanted to eat that too, but I can’t because of my diet…” She said pouting.

Kris frowned and looked at her.

“You shouldn’t be on diet, you are beautiful now.” 

And as soon Tao heard those words his heart was punched again, the punch was so strong that he started coughing attracting Kris attention, but not for the same reason he thought.

“Don’t you think like that too, Tao? She looks beautiful now.”

Tao stopped coughing a nodded slightly, but he couldn’t look at Kris to the face knowing that his expression would only punch his heart harder and instead looked at the blushing girl by the blonde’s side.

And as he looked at her he felt even sadder.

He had to admit that the girl was pretty…Kris had a great taste, didn’t he?

But what Tao had to offer was so far from what his friend expected.

And he gulped as tears started forming in his eyes.

He regretted the dinner, regretted his weak will when it came to Kris.

“I have to go…” Tao finally said standing up, but Kris’ hold on his wrist made him stop from walking away.

“Zi Tao, aren’t you going to give me the honor to a have a dinner with you?”

Only those words needed to be say and Tao’s will had lost the game again.

It was a joke they used to make.

They used those fancy words every time they were having dinner outside their shared apartment instead of Tao’s food.

And with Kris’ warm hand now on his shoulder Tao sat again on his chair looking down.

Kris had won again.

And silence engulfed the dinner table again with Kris’ eyes fixed on Tao.

Tao loved that Kris didn’t ask more when he wasn’t willing to respond but he hated that Kris didn’t ask anything at all when he was ready to explode with unspoken words.

And as the dinner went by, Tao remained silent letting the couple in their sweet moment while he felt like the third wheel he was.

But he was sure that in some moments the intense gaze of his friend was fixed on him once again.


	7. Punch VII

Tao didn’t really want to go to work. The dinner could have been worse, but he still felt hurt by Kris’ words and having to see him with his girlfriend.

But he couldn’t let that show to his young students that look up at him.

But what he didn’t expect to see was a shy Suho with a box in his hand when the class ended.

“Jongin told me you came from China long ago and I thought these Chinese cookies could be a nice detail.” He said with a timid smile.

Tao looked at the other for a moment before feeling a wall crumbling inside him, he tried to calm himself but as the tears started pooling in his eyes he turned to walk to the opposite side where Suho was standing.

He shouldn’t be doing this.

He shouldn’t be leaving Suho standing there alone without watching for Jongin and Kyungsoo, but he really needed to be alone to cry.

Those gentle words were breaking the wall he had created to avoid showing his emotions to others.

But his wall fell completely when he suddenly felt Suho’s arms around him as he gave him small pats on the back.

Kris had told him he shouldn’t cry.

But Kris was nowhere in sight.

And Suho’s comforting arms were there.

Suho didn’t ask a question and Tao was thankful for that, but maybe he really needed to say it.

Maybe he needed to voice out his pain and maybe Suho was the only one willing to listen to him.

But this wasn’t the right time.

So Tao just let his tears flow until he couldn’t cry anymore.

And after wiping the last tears from his cheeks he looked up only to see a confused Jongin in front of them eating the cookies Suho had brought for him.

And no more words were said about this event as Suho and Jongin left.

But the next day he saw Suho, Tao felt the awkwardness remembering the sudden tears and the sudden hug.

And even when eventually things returned back to normal, they were preceded by an “are you feeling better?” and “are you ok?” from Suho and another box of cookies.

And with that Tao and Suho seemed to get closer and closer, talking more and more; sharing hobbies and laughing a bit after every class.

And days passed by like that for Tao, surprising the panda eyed boy when he found himself in a café with Suho.

It was the first time they had met outside the Wushu classroom.

It was actually after a really awkward moment when Suho invited him not really meeting his gaze.

And Tao had gladly accepted, but what worried him was that he saw a reflection of himself in Suho’s face when he said yes.

That excited face every time he would be happy because of Kris.

But he decided to skip that and focus on having a good time with his new friend.

Because that was what they were, right?

That gave Tao a sense of tranquility, but at the same time he was nervous, because Suho had actually confessed that he was into boys and Tao had said he was the same, but deep inside he wasn’t sure.

He was more only into Kris. Not having feelings for other person before.

“Tao…” Suho started, breaking the silence that grew after their ordered their drinks.

“Umm…I know I didn’t ask you properly, but…would you consider this as a date?...I mean, it won’t if you don’t want…I just…” Suho sighed blaming himself for asking when they were already in the cafe. He should have asked Tao properly before but he turned so nervous just like now.

Tao’s eyes widened and he looked at the other in silence.

If he accepted that was going to be his first date.

He had always thought his first date would be with Kris…or at least he dreamt about it.

But as the possibilities of that dream coming true were scarce he just nodded to Suho’s question and the other gave him an even bigger smile that when he accepted going to the café with him.

“But…”Tao started making Suho freeze, his smile disappearing.

“I’m not ready to really date someone now.”

Tao had said those words honestly; his heart was still attached to Kris.

And Suho couldn’t hide his disappointment, but still tried to smile at Tao’s guilty face.

And as they received their drinks from the friendly waitress they engrossed themselves in silence again.

This time it was Suho the one thinking deeply.

Tao had said he wasn’t ready to date someone at the moment, did that mean he only had to be patient?

And what were the reasons for Tao to say that?

Was it because he had just broken up with somebody?

Because he was heartbroken?

Because he already liked other person?

And how all this was connected to Tao’s tears from the other day?

But Suho wasn’t ready to receive the answer to his questions so soon even when Tao hadn’t say a word.

And without knowing that he adventured himself into doing something he wanted to do long ago.

He suddenly grabbed Tao’s hand that rested beside his coffee cup making the other look at him in surprise.

Tao just stared at him for a second before his gaze was focused on their hands.

Suho’s hands were warm but Tao still felt the need to pull away.

Kris had never held his hand.

He had only held his wrist when he wanted to stop him from going away or wanted to take him somewhere.

And when Tao looked up he saw Suho’s face with his gentle smile looking back.

Their gazes were connected for a moment before a voice practically made him jump on his seat.

“Tao…”

He knew that voice too well and his first reaction was to move his hand away from Suho’s grasp and put it into his lap.

Tao slowly looked up while gulping.

He started breathing heavily, his nervousness showing.

Kris was questioning him with his strong gaze analyzing Tao, making the latter look down not knowing what to say.

It was silent for a moment before Suho cleared his throat and Tao looked up at him with a nervous smile.

Tao knew he had to do something to break the tense atmosphere so he did a quick introduction making the other two males nod in response at the other’s name.

But Kris was still looking suspiciously at Suho’s hand that had barely moved from the place it was when it was holding Tao’s hand.

Kris wanted to ask more, but his girlfriend suddenly called him with two take out cups of coffee almost exiting through the door.

Kris couldn’t stay knowing that involving his girlfriend in the meeting will make things even more awkward as Tao was looking down and the other guy wasn’t giving him a friendly gaze.

“Tao, I’ll call you later.” That was what he only managed to say before going outside the café.

And even when it was said rapidly, Tao felt nervous, because that ‘call you later’ meant that Kris wanted to ask about what he just saw.

Silence once again fell upon them until Suho spoke.

“Is he the reason why you can’t date anyone at the moment?”

He said those words softly, trying to cover his pain with his gentle tone.

And Tao sighed heavily.

Was it that obvious?

If it was, then why couldn’t Kris see it?

“Have you told him?” Suho asked again in an even softer tone, but Tao looked at him as if he had said the most stupid thing in the world.

Suho sighed before asking again.

“Have you at least told him you are not into girls?”

Suho really wanted answers.

It was pretty obvious that Kris and Tao knew each other, and that Tao had feelings for the other according to his response to the situation, but Suho wasn’t sure of the meaning behind Kris’ gaze when the latter saw them holding hands.

Suho knew this situation was pushing Tao’s limit at the other was frowning and biting his lips nervously not uttering a single word.

But he could only give Tao a sympathizing smile before they exited the café with the atmosphere completely changed, because Suho’s actions and questions have created a chaos in Tao’s mind.


	8. Punch VIII

Tao was thankful Kris haven’t call him the night after his date with Suho, but what he didn’t expect was Kris standing at his door the next day.

Kris didn’t look exactly calm, he looked more like frustrated, something Tao had slightly noticed the day before.

“Tao~ I’m hungry~” Kris said pouting, completely ignoring Tao’s nervous face at the expectancy of a bunch of questions about what Kris saw in the café.

But upon hearing those words Tao couldn’t help a smile from appearing on his face.

He couldn’t actually consider Kris the most aegyo guy, but for him Kris was cute when pouting.

And he was glad Kris wasn’t even mentioning the other topic, and instead responding with a smile.

And also because Tao knew Kris only would ask him to cook for him like this when he was really stressed out about something.

And Kris knew Tao understood his plea.

Because they knew each other so well after being friends for so long.

And Kris was convinced of that as he didn’t know how to explain his frustration to his girlfriend.

Because the last few days Kris was getting more and more frustrated about his work.

He couldn’t work properly feeling stuck in the melody he was composing.

He should have been able to finish the song by now, but he ended up with sad melodies instead of the happy one he needed.

And being with his girlfriend wasn’t helping him at all.

Shouldn’t he be happier now that he was in a relationship?

But he decided to give it another try and go shopping with her.

If he couldn’t express his frustration to her maybe seeing her smiling and being happy would help him find some inspiration.

And they had walked around the mall for a while entering different stores, but they ended in her favorite one.

And Kris had smiled; he had been in that store so many times before, even when he didn’t know her.

Tao would always make him enter the store even when in the beginning of their stay in Korea they didn’t have money to buy any Gucci product.

And as she was looking around Kris could only focus on his thoughts of Tao.

Even he had tried to erase it from his mind; something was telling him things were going wrong with Tao.

And he was even more convinced of that when he suddenly encountered Tao with the other guy in the café.

When he had met Tao the last few times he always seemed so down, while when he found him with the other guy he didn’t look like that.

But his trail of thoughts was interrupted by Tao soft humming as he started cooking.

Kris looked at him from the kitchen table, a smile forming in his lips.

Tao was always so happy while cooking; maybe that was the secret of the excellent flavor of his dishes.

And without realizing he started tapping the table with his fingers.

A soft melody that accompanied Tao’s humming and that ended in a recording program that Kris had in his cellphone as he now was tapping the keys of the small keyboard he had on his phone.

And when Tao finally turned to look at him putting the food on the table Kris stood up and walked to him.

Tao looked at him with curious eyes when suddenly Kris wrapped his arms around him.

And Tao felt it again.

It was a really strong punch, with the same strength that Kris was hugging him and he couldn’t move at all for a moment.

And before Tao could manage to return the hug, Kris distanced a bit from him now looking at him directly to the eyes.

Their faces were so close, just like that time when Kris was drunk and Tao believed that this time he was the one who was going to pass out.

“Thank you.” Kris said softly with a smile still looking at Tao.

And even when Tao wasn’t exactly sure why Kris was thankful for, he was still lost in the other’s smile and eyes that he almost missed the “Let’s eat.” that Kris had said.

And as Kris took his first step he did something that made Tao stop breathing for a moment.

He looked with widened eyes at their now connected hands but Kris didn’t seem to mind as he continued his steps to the table pulling Tao with him.

Because Kris had reached the conclusion that if Tao didn’t mind the other guy holding his hand, why would he mind Kris doing it?

But the happy atmosphere changed when they sat and Kris cleared his throat and looked directly at Tao, his eyes shifting from Tao’s face to his hand.

“Tao…” He started, but Tao cut him with a nervous tone.

“Kris, I can explain…I…”

But now it was Kris’ turn to interrupt.

“Is there something to explain?”

He knew there was.

Who exactly was that guy?

Why was Tao with him in the café?

Why was he holding Tao’s hand?

But Kris knew better than to push Tao to answer.

“I guess not…” Tao finally answered, making Kris sigh softly.

He was actually expecting some answer even when it seemed like he didn’t.

But noticing how Tao’s happy expression when he saw him and when he was cooking had completely banished, he decided to change the topic.

“Tao~ I missed your food~” Kris finally said in a childish tone making Tao smile again.

The latter really wanted to explain, even when he didn’t know how. But the same explanation will have a confession, something he wasn’t ready to make and he couldn’t wait to say thanks to Kris for being so understanding in this.

And mostly with his last words. Because it was as if time hasn’t passed at all.

Sitting in the kitchen table eating Tao’s food.

And they started to eat in a comfortable silence neither of them knowing what to say first.

There was so much to tell, but both of them preferred to stay silent this time.

And it was Kris phone ringing that made them stop looking at each other with small smiles between every bite.

It was a message from his girlfriend.

Tao knew that because that was the same message tone he heard last time when Kris left.

And he was expecting that much, but Kris just put his cellphone back in his pocket and looked at him with a tired smile.

“You know…I have been trying my best with my girlfriend, because well…it’s my first girlfriend and all that…” Kris started saying slowly.

And Tao nodded but deep inside him he was asking a question.

‘Did doing your best effort for her mean ignoring me?’

“…sometimes she feels so familiar, but at the same time as if she knew nothing about me…not like you…”

Tao looked at him with sad eyes before speaking.

“We have known each other for so long…”

And still Kris had decided to completely ignore him when he met the other girl, if not for the last couple of weeks that made Tao even more miserable as he had to watch the couple.

Kris nodded as Tao’s words.

“Yeah…sometimes she reminds me of you, but your food is still better.” Kris finished with a cheerful tone, but Tao didn’t know if he should feel happy or not.

He knew it was normal to talk with your friends about your relationship, but it was so hurtful for him to hear that the girl, a girl so similar to him could enter Kris life just like that, when he has been always there, but at the same time so far away.

But then suddenly Kris held Tao’s hand for the second time in the day whispering an “I missed you” with a smile that made Tao melt again even when his feelings were all over the place at the moment.

Tao bit his lip, feeling nervous at Kris unmoving gaze.

What was behind that gaze? and what did that mouth that didn’t hold a smile anymore wanted to say?

“Don’t change me…I’m still your only best friend, right?” Kris said almost pouting.

And like a flashback Tao started laughing.

It was almost funny the first time, but this time it was just sad.

Kris was still clueless and kept hurting Tao with the ‘best friend’ word even without knowing.

But Tao didn’t complain, because after so long he had spent the entire afternoon with Kris.

And Kris alone.

It didn’t matter to him that it was only eating, watching T.V and laughing at Kris imitations of the hosts on the shows.

It was like in the old times, but for some reason Tao still hoped for more.

Because he could feel his heart beating rapidly once again when Kris held his hand for the third time and he didn’t let go.


	9. Punch IX

“Kris, don’t forget, tomorrow at ten.” His girlfriend said before leaving the apartment.

Kris wasn’t really paying attention as he was giving the last details to the melody he had finally finished thanks to Tao.

And he went to bed after sending the melody to the producers.

He was tired, but happy to have finally finished.

But the next day when he woke up he knew he had forgotten something.

And reality hit him when he heard his phone ringing, a call from his girlfriend waking him up completely.

“Are you already in the stadium Kris?” She asked from the other line.

And Kris gulped.

He looked at his clock and it was 10am.

He cursed and run to the bathroom after a short “I’ll be there soon” to his girlfriend.

He had forgotten she had a gymnastics competition on Sunday morning.

And as he entered the subway just before the doors closed he collided with someone.

He apologized while bowing before looking up only to find a rather bright smile on the person he had accidentally pushed.

“Kris!” The grinning guy said hugging him slightly.

Kris was surprised to meet him after a long time but returned the smile.

“Chanyeol you haven’t changed at all.”

“And you are blonde now.” Chanyeol retorted.

Kris smirked before noticing how Chanyeol’s eyes searched for something around him.

“What are you looking for?”

“Tao…” Chanyeol answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Kris looked at him questioningly making the other’s smile grow.

“Aren’t both of you attached to the hip or something?” He said chuckling.

“That was back in the university, now we have taken different paths.” Kris said in a rather emotionless tone.

“Does that mean you are not living together anymore?” Chanyeol asked surprised.

“Yeah, it’s been a while since that.” Kris said looking down.

“Wow~ That was unexpected….I thought both of you will stay together forever ….you must have had a good reason.” The other said.

And Kris didn’t know how to reply to that.

He had come to realize that the moment he moved out he had a good reason to do it. Or at least in that moment it seemed like a good reason.

But now that he was planning to voice it out to the other it didn’t seem that reasonable.

“Well, this is my station. If you see Tao around send him my greetings.”

And Chanyeol got out of the train not before giving Kris his business card.

Kris waved a goodbye before sighing.

Because after spending the entire afternoon with Tao he had realized how much he had been missing him and he was feeling guilty for ignoring the other.

Even Chanyeol that haven’t seen them in years was surprised at how distanced they were now.

It was just that somewhere in the way this girl appeared and she felt really familiar, but Kris was starting to think that they had started their relationship too fast because of that.

On the surface they knew what the other liked, but deep inside Kris wasn’t sure if she could understand him.

And he arrived to the stadium calling his girlfriend to tell her that he was there and sitting on the benches not really caring at all about the other contestants.

And as he waited for his girlfriend’s turn Kris thought that this was a good chance to return to an old habit he had.

He wasn’t sure if he should send something relevant like ‘I finished the melody I was working on.’ or something like that as they had actually skipped the important topics the day before and only relaxed while watching T.V.

But after debating with himself for a while he just sent a dumb ‘Hello’ to Tao.

And Kris message arrived to Tao’s phone like a really unexpected punch making the other look at the phone as if this had grown arms and legs.

Was Kris really texting him a dumb ‘hello’ like in the old times?

Tao’s smile appeared on his face not really believing this.

‘Hello there :) ‘ He sent it back to Kris, the emoticon on the text not really being able to show the happiness that Tao’s smile carried by the pleasant surprise of receiving Kris’ message.

“What are you doing?” Was Kris’ reply and Tao decided to be a little bit playful this time.

‘Texting you :P’

And Kris smiled looking at his phone almost missing the view of his girlfriend waving at him before it was her turn to perform.

Kris waved back before looking at his phone again as another message arrived.

‘What are you doing?’

Kris looked to the front, his girlfriend presenting her gymnastic routine gracefully.

The way she jumped and moved to the music with her blue ribbon was impeccable.

He had never seen her during practice, but he knew she must have worked hard.

And as his thoughts got lost on her and how distant they have been the last days even when in front of everyone they seemed like the perfect couple, until another message arrived to his phone.

‘I have class now, talk to you later :) ‘ Tao sent this last message with a sigh as Suho appeared on the door of the studio.

They haven’t seen each other since the café incident, but Tao had already promised Suho to teach him wushu even before everything turned dramatic with Kris’s appearance.

And Kris, at the stadium, just sent him back a simple ‘ok’, wondering since when Tao taught classes on Sunday.

He was really missing so much of Tao’s life.

In the past, when they lived together Tao would tell him everything that happened to him during the day and Kris didn’t mind hearing him as the other was really cute and excited while he explained his day.

But Kris concluded that he could always text Tao later since the other one was busy at the moment and he was supposed to be watching his girlfriend’s gymnastics performance.

But in the back of his head, even when he had tried to forget them, were those sad eyes that had avoided him during the basketball game and the dinner, the same eyes that he wanted to shine like when he visited Tao the day before.


	10. Punch X

“Are you sure you aren’t older than you look?” Tao asked half laughing at the pouting Suho. “Your jokes are so old-fashioned.” He finished giving the other a smile.

Tao had thought that after the café incident in which Suho discovered Tao had feelings for Kris things will turn really awkward, but they weren’t, because Suho still had those warm eyes and smile and that kind attitude that Tao could never reject.

And Suho still smiled back don’t minding Tao’s previous comment because it wasn’t the first time somebody had told him his jokes weren’t the most updated ones, but still he felt glad he made Tao happy.

Tao wasn’t sure how they had end up on the floor talking and laughing when the real purpose of meeting Suho was for teaching him wushu.

They haven’t even started and Tao was already distracted by the sweet words Suho had for him and his silly jokes.

But still Tao wanted to teach the other, when he was practicing wushu he felt more confident than ever, even when those warm eyes didn’t stop looking his way.

“Ok, let’s start the class for real now.” Tao said standing up and Suho looked up hoping the other to reach his hand to him, but it never happened as Tao started walking to the front of the classroom.

And Suho sighed.

Even when they have met many times, Tao seemed to always avoid any physical contact with him. He had only touched him the day the other was crying and the day at the café, which didn’t end the way he wanted after holding Tao’s hand.

But Suho didn’t want to remember neither of those days.

At that time he didn’t know why Tao was crying but still his heart felt hurt at the scene of the panda eyed boy crying.

But now he knew he had something to do with that Kris guy that Tao had feelings for, but he haven’t mentioned anything about that because he didn’t want to erase Tao’s smile by making him remember that day.

“Ok, today I’ll teach you the basics.” Tao said with a confident smile as he stretched his arms as soon as Suho stood up.

And Suho nodded with a small smile even when inside he wasn’t sure if he was going to do well in his wushu class that he had decided to take.

But an hour later he was sure he wasn’t made for practicing wushu.

“This is just warming” Tao said with an amused smile to the panting Suho.

Suho gave him a tired smile trying to keep running from one side of the room to the other while doing five push-ups every time he reached one side of the room.

Tao said encouraging words to him, but the other was trying not to faint in the process.

It wasn’t like he didn’t do exercises at all, but this was too much for his normal peaceful life.

“Ok Suho, now you are finally ready for the basics.” Tao said with a smile giving Suho a towel to dry his sweating face while he excused himself for a moment.

It was a shame that Tao didn’t seem to look at Suho in the same way the other looked at him, because Suho looked even more radiant in the sweating state he was with his t-shirt sticking to his body and his messy dark red hair.

But to Suho’s pleasant surprise Tao appeared again now with his practice pants and a tank top ready for class and clueless to Suho’s stare.

‘Class wouldn’t be that bad after all’, Suho thought, but half an hour later he could barely feel his legs while Tao kept kicking the air with professional moves.

“Are you ok?” Suddenly Tao asked at the panting Suho beside him.

And this time Suho gave him a big smile.

It was the first time that Tao was the one asking that question instead of Suho.

“I could be better…” Suho said chuckling.

“Then I guess is all for today, I’ll bring you some water….try not to faint while I’m gone…” Tao said chuckling too and Suho couldn’t help but smile again as he let himself fall to the floor completely tired.

Tao returned with two bottles of water giving one to Suho and gave him more encouraging words.

Suho felt better after listening to Tao and also because little by little he started moving closer to the other until he end up sitting just beside Tao.

And he couldn’t be happier when Tao didn’t try to move away and instead gave him a smile.

And Suho knew he had a chance again.

He knew Tao had feeling for other guy, a guy that already had someone by his side, giving Tao heartache, but Suho was there for him.

And in a time like this he just wanted to hold Tao’s hand again.

And he did it, feeling how Tao tensed at the contact, but he didn’t pull back.

‘Was he really accepting this?’ Tao asked to himself.

Just the day before he had held Kris’ hand and it had felt like the most amazing thing in the world, but Suho’s hands were warm and Tao had the feeling that that hand would be always there if he needed.

But that thought only made him feel worse.

He didn’t want it to seem like he was using Suho while he still had feelings for Kris.

But it also seemed that those feelings were taking him nowhere, while Suho’s warmness was pulling him closer and closer.

Maybe he should just confess and end with all this secret love for his best friend, but he couldn’t dare to say it, because loosing Kris even as a friend would be something he wouldn’t be able to take.

“Tao…” Suddenly Suho’s voice reminded him where he was.

Their hands were still attached to each other and Tao agreed that this would be the last time he held hands with Suho until he could sort out his feelings.

And as Tao focused again in the male he had beside him, Suho was having an internal fight with the words he so wanted to say.

“I like you.”

Suho was supposed to say those words long time ago, but he hadn’t dared to do it and this moment wasn’t the exception.

Even with all the signs he was giving the other, the words were just hard to say knowing that Tao would reject him; so he just end up with an

“I like your wushu skills.”

And Suho just wanted to punch himself when those words left his mouth.

Could he make the situation more awkward when Tao seemed doubtful of keep holding his hand?

But Suho was surprised when he heard Tao’s soft voice saying “Thank you.” and his hand squeezing Suho’s a bit tighter.

And this only gave Suho more encouragement to act more and more comfortably around the panda eyed boy.

“The other day I was walking in the mall, when I saw the Gucci store, but I didn’t dare to enter.” Suho said knowing by Jongin that Tao like-loved Gucci a bit too much.

Tao’s face lightened at the mention of the story but then he frowned.

“Why didn’t you enter?”

“I felt a bit intimidated.” Suho said shyly and somehow he was using all this as a metaphor.

Tao seemed perfect since the first moment he saw him, but then it seemed too much to handle for Suho.

But now he was taking the risk, because he knew the beautiful treasure Tao was inside, like the expensive products that were in the store and that the other loved so much.

And Suho knew he was right when he heard Tao’s next words.

“We can go together one day.” Tao side excitedly.

And Suho agreed immediately considering this as another date.

And just because of that simple conversation they started talking about other things they liked or disliked, enjoying each other’s company.

Because who needs a fancy restaurant or a café when you have a spacious wushu studio only for two?

And that happy thought made Suho forget that he was still using his sweat t-shirt and pants, not knowing that he would suffer the consequences the next day.

But he couldn’t care at the moment, because he was only thinking of how cute Tao looked while correcting the limited Chinese Suho was using.

And it was only three hours later that Suho left leaving a smiling Tao behind.

It was so easy to talk to Suho, he was so caring and gave a comfortable feeling.

A feeling of safety.

A guardian angel feeling.

And Tao’s smile grew even more when he was about to go to sleep that night because an “I’m hungry” message from Kris arrived to his phone.

“You’ll have to wait until tomorrow :)” Tao sent the message chuckling softly.

“Can’t wait for it~ >.<” Kris replied with a smile on his own face.

And Tao went to sleep thinking that it had been a great day and already planning to surprise Kris delivering a great breakfast to his apartment knowing the other was going to expect a lunch or a dinner instead.


	11. Punch XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, subscribing, leaving comments and kudos :D

Suho woke up with the sound of his aunt’s voice.

“Jongin, be good and don’t bother your cousin because he is sick, I’ll be back after work.” Those were her last words before Suho heard the main door closing.

And after a moment with slow steps, Suho left his room only to find Jongin watching T.V. pouting.

“How was your class?” Suho asked trying not to seem obvious as he was trying to get any information about Tao.

“Boring!” Jongin practically shouted looking at his cousin.

“Hyung, everyone is sick.” He continued with an annoyed voice.

Suho looked at him questioningly when Jongin continued.

“You, Kyungsoo and even Tao hyung! They weren’t in class today.”

Suho sighed sitting next to Jongin and giving him a soft smile before patting his head.

“It will be better tomorrow Jongin.” Suho said softly but the kid was sulking so badly he didn’t notice the name he was called by.

But even with a small on his lips Suho was worried.

He had just remembered that Tao also haven’t changed his clothes before they started talking.

And Suho got excited by thinking how he would prepare his special honey water and give it to Tao for the other to feel better.

After all it was partially his fault.

But his happy thoughts were cut when he realized he didn’t know where the other lived and didn’t have his phone number.

Suho sighed, his headache returning realizing how dumb he had been, so he excused himself and decided to sleep a bit more.

But Suho was so wrong about Tao being sick due to sweaty clothes, because even when the other was in his bed with his eyes closed, he was freaking out trying to catch his breath.

He was trying to think that what he had done hadn’t ruined everything.

That everything would be fine.

That the tears that he was holding so hard from falling again didn’t mean that he had lost his best friend forever, because in the morning when he left his house he had no idea that would happen.

Because Tao had lost all control when he did it, and now he was feeling more regret than relief.

But even with all those thoughts he had to admit that Kris would probably be having a bigger headache that him.

And he was right.

Kris just sat on his bed looking at the wall in front of him.

His mind was a mess, he had no idea what had just happened, but he only knew that he didn’t want to fight more with his girlfriend making her go out of his apartment.

It wasn’t like he wanted her to stay the night again, not when she was going all crazy for what had happened.

And Kris sighed knowing she had the right to be so annoyed by it, but still he couldn’t stand it.

What had just happened?

Kris could only remember that he went to sleep after exchanging messages with Tao and then he woke up and went to the kitchen only to find his girlfriend wearing one of his oversized t-shirts preparing their breakfast.

He wasn’t surprised, it wasn’t the first time she had stayed the night and considering how late the celebration after her team won the gymnastic competition ended, he let her stay again in his place.

It seemed like a normal morning.

Like the one she would cook something for them to eat and they would sit to eat in silence, a silence that wasn’t comfortable for Kris.

A silence he couldn’t stand, but that he couldn’t break.

And it was only his doorbell that broke that silence and he immediately went to open the door trying to get away from the previous situation.

But what he saw surprised him more than it should, and the person standing at the other side of the door noticed, giving him a cheeky smile in return.

“You said you were hungry~” Tao said showing Kris the food.

And the blonde bit his lip not knowing how to answer to this.

He didn’t know what time was exactly, but he knew it was early, really early, and for Tao to be there with just made food made him feel guilty for making the other to do things like that for him.

But he should have known that things haven’t changed, because even when they lived together Tao would be always the one waking up first and preparing their breakfast.

It was like a cute housewife and Kris always teased him with that.

But the small smile that was forming on his face in reaction to Tao’s unexpected presence completed disappeared when he saw Tao’s shocked face as the door of his apartment opened a bit more revealing his girlfriend wearing his oversized t-shirt.

And things had gone downhill from that moment, or at least the food that Tao had dropped to the floor before running away from Kris’ apartment door.

Because Tao had to get away from that door.

What he had seen had punched his heart so badly, and once again he couldn’t believe he was being able to move when he could literally feel the pain running through his veins.

The pain of seeing her in Kris apartment.

Wearing Kris t-shirt.

Because being there at that time in the morning only meant she had spent the night.

That probably she had spent many other nights.

That she was living there, living there with the love of Tao’s life.

And those thoughts clouded his mind as the pain only kept increasing.

Why was he even trying?

He had already lost long time ago…

But so in his pain Tao haven’t noticed Kris running behind him.

Because Kris wasn’t letting him ran away like the last time when Tao met his girlfriend.

He wasn’t going to let go of Tao this time.

And he grabbed Tao’s arm turning him around to make the other look at him, but Tao was pulling away.

And pulling away with such force that Kris thought the other was going to win if not for the tears that kept running down his cheeks and that made him tremble.

“Calm down Tao, tell me what’s wrong?” Kris tried to make the other calm down with a gentle tone, but Tao wasn’t answering and instead started punching Kris’ chest with his free hand.

Kris was hurting.

Tao’s punches were no joke, but he knew his heart was aching for other reason.

But after standing the punches for a moment he couldn’t handle them anymore.

“Tao, stop!” He practically shouted grabbing the other’s wrist to make him stop.

And Tao started pulling away again; his tears non-stopping, and Kris’ heart broke even more.

Because he hated when Tao cried and he knew he had something to do with Tao’s tears.

And Kris voiced it out, making Tao finally stop struggling to get free.

“It’s because of me, isn’t it? The reason of your tears is me, aren’t I?”

But Tao that had calmed a bit just shook his head denying Kris accusation.

“Why Tao? Why am I making you cry?”

Kris just wanted some answers.

His slow brain was never able to catch up with Tao’s as the other always seemed to be the one to think before showing his emotions.

But instead of answering Tao tried to set himself free again from Kris’ grasp and the blonde let him go only to hug him tightly between his arms.

“Didn’t you say that if I was here everything was ok?” Kris said his arms keeping the struggling boy in between.

But Tao didn’t care he had said those words anymore, because Kris was not there anymore.

It didn’t matter that Kris was hugging him, because he had left him long time ago for that girl.

That girl with the pretty pair of eyes.

Because that pair of eyes were looking at them from the apartment door with all the right to hate that hug.

That hug that lasted so long for those eyes liking.

That hug in which Tao rested his face in the crook of Kris neck as the other caressed his hair trying to calm him down.

And that pair of eyes just got closer and closer pulling Kris away from Tao with an annoyed look.

And it was in that moment that Tao lost it.

Because he hadn’t been crying all this time for nothing.

He hadn’t stayed by Kris side for nothing.

And like a fire that started in his heart spread through his body, he got closer to Kris putting his arms around the other’s neck surprising him.

And before a word could escape from the blonde’s mouth Tao had covered his lips with his own in a soft quick kiss that was followed by a phrase that Kris couldn’t take out of his mind.

“I’m crying because I’m in love with you.”

And Kris remained there with his widened eyes looking at Tao running away.

And now Kris could only touch his lips softly remembering that kiss and Tao’s love confession.


	12. Punch XII

“I’m okay.” Tao simply said looking down instead of facing those worried eyes in Suho’s face.

It was more than obvious that he was not ok.

The dark circles below his eyes were more notorious than ever, his hair was messy and he looked pale and without energy.

And Suho didn’t know what to say.

No matter how much he wanted to believe that he was getting closer to Tao, the other always seemed to push him away every now and then.

But still Suho tried, offering Tao the honey water he had brought with him.

He was glad that Jongin’s mother had allowed the other to visit Kyungsoo letting him spend this time alone with Tao.

They sat in silence in a bench in the wushu studio with Tao still avoiding Suho’s worried glance.

But with a soft voice he asked if the other was feeling better as Jongin had told him Suho had been sick.

Suho told him he was feeling better, but looking at Tao he was sure the other was suffering and not due to an illness.

“You can tell me Tao….what happened?”

Tao didn’t answer him and just kept drinking the honey water.

“Is everything ok at work?”

Tao suddenly asked completely avoiding the last subject and Suho sighed before answering, he asked something similar back and Tao answered absentmindedly.

And that pointless conversation continued for a while until Tao’s grip on the bottle he had been drinking of tightened and he finally looked up.

He faced Suho with teary eyes, tears he wasn’t going to let fall, before speaking.

“I told him.”

And Suho’s first reaction was confusion, but just a second after he understood and his eyes widened.

The situation didn’t look good.

If this had turned for better for Tao’s no longer secret love, he wouldn’t be looking devastated.

But as much as he knew that it pained Tao and for him to look at the other suffering was painful too, he still asked.

“What did he say?”

Tao gulped his tight grip on the bottle loosening to the point he almost dropped it.

“I got scared and ran away…But he must hate me…he haven’t contact me for three days…”

Suho sighed again.

If he had something to say, he had to say it now.

“Tao…you already told him, right?...if he can’t accept your love, if he had pushed you away because of that, here…”

But he couldn’t continue as Tao glared at him and practically shouted.

“You have no idea what this friendship means to me! I had loved Kris even before falling in love with him!”

And with those words Tao had punched Suho’s heart without realizing it, and the pain that the red haired guy had in his eyes was more than noticeable this time.

“How can you say Kris is pushing me away as if I was nothing?!” Tao said frustrated.

But through his heavy breathing he still could hear Suho whispering.

“You are doing the same to me.”

And Tao looked at the other feeling guilty. 

At least when Kris had hurt him it was because he didn’t know Tao’s love for him.

But he knew, because even without words Suho had showed how much he cared for him, how much the other meant to him in his heart.

Because the caring hug and the warm hand holding his, along with the kind words and those soft glances showed everything Suho was too nervous to say out loud.

“I’m sorry…” Tao said softly.

“Don’t apologize…” Suho started saying before gulping.

He really wanted to be with Tao, but if the other wasn’t willing to give him a chance at all…

“Just tell me if I should at least keep a bit of hope in this, in us…”

And with those last words Suho left the place his head hanging low and his steps slow.

He knew he had to face Tao the next day and face all the pain again, but knowing how much harder it was for Tao he was willing to wait just a bit more.

And Tao just remained there, sitting in the bench and looking at the floor.

Hope.

Tao knew that a bit of hope could be the most powerful thing in the world as that was what helped him to stand all the heartaches he had been through.

But he also knew that letting other person have that bit of hope for nothing could be as painful as he knew at the moment.

Because he still had that bit of hope that Kris had the same feelings for him, but he couldn’t admit it yet.

So he decided to give Kris a bit of time, just like Suho had given him, because in matters of the heart only patience could lead you to the right answer.

And he went back home walking slowly letting the wind mess his hair a bit more as he remembered one of his precious moments with Kris.

The blonde Kris he knew now.

Because it was one of those normal days in which Tao was cooking dinner that Kris suddenly hugged him from behind making him jump in surprise and making his heart race.

Tao was feeling butterflies in his stomach and wanted to turn to look at Kris, but the other didn’t allow him.

“I have a surprise for you.” Kris said softly near Tao’s ear making the other shiver.

He turned Tao around while covering his eyes with his hand and when the other finally was facing him Kris put him hand away.

Tao looked at him surprised and without knowing his hand had suddenly landed on Kris’ hair caressing the now blonde locks softly.

Kris smiled happily.

“Do you like it?”

And Tao chuckled nodding slowly.

“And I have another surprise for you!” Kris said excitedly searching in his pants pockets for something.

And suddenly in front of Tao’s face was a panda keychain making Tao smile brightly before hugging a smiling Kris.

Life seemed so happy and so simple back then.


	13. Punch XIII

Those trembling hands that never pressed the send or call button.

Those feet that always stopped before getting too close to the wushu studio or Tao’s house.

Those same hands were now clenched and those feet had stopped only to allow Kris to see the scene in front of him.

It had been a week already and this was the first step Kris was taking to actually talk to Tao, but that guy had to be there again.

Kris still didn’t know who exactly the dark red haired guy was.

He knew his name, but what did he meant for Tao?

Why was that he always seemed to make the Tao smile while Kris could only make him cry?

And all these thoughts make him even more confused than he already was.

Because it has only been a week and things seemed to have drastically changed after Tao’s confession.

Kris’ pretty girlfriend, rather ex-girlfriend, along with a hurt look had left his apartment for the last time slamming shut the door in her way out; and with that action putting an end to their relationship.

And that was only a heavier emotional weight in Kris’ heart.

She had felt so familiar for a reason.

She was so similar to someone he knew.

Or rather someone that meant the world to him.

But getting to know that for that person he meant more than that had surprised him.

And that is why Kris had been more than frustrated with his ex-girlfriend’s reaction.

Why she couldn’t understand that it wasn’t easy for Kris either?

Because is not like every day you best friend confesses his love for you.

And it’s not like Kris had run to Tao after his confession or as if he had acted any different towards her.

But he was indeed lost in his thoughts most of the time as Tao’s crying face and words didn’t leave his mind.

And Kris felt stupid, so stupid.

All the signs were there, but he was just so blind to see Tao’s pain.

But he didn’t know what to do.

He knew Tao haven’t contact him as if giving him time to think about what had happened and what will happen with them.

But Kris knew things couldn’t stay the same anymore after those words, and as much as he was nervous to the meet the other he had finally decided to visit him because being away from Tao like this was killing him inside. 

And Tao was feeling just a bit better, because at least outside he tried to smile to avoid making Suho even more worried.

Because it was just the next day after their emotional conversation that Suho had appeared as if nothing had happened and Tao knew he had to be honest with the other telling him what he had been thinking all night.

“I know I’m being selfish, but don’t let go of me yet.” Tao had said sadly looking down.

“I’m giving Kris time, just like you are giving me…just…I just need someone by my side at this moment or I won’t be able to resist it.” Tao ended almost choking in new tears that were rolling down his cheeks.

It was embarrassment, it was anger, it was fear, and it was Suho once again wiping his tears away.

And during the rest of the week, Tao had tried to smile for the other, and had actually forgotten for some moments all the emotional chaos he was going through.

They had been into the Gucci store and in the big bookstore in which Suho worked.

And after a few more wushu classes Suho had dared to think that everything would turn favorably for him.

It had been like that after seeing Tao’s smile that seemed more sincere with each day as they say goodbye to each other, but now he doubted those thoughts as he saw the same blonde guy from the café just across the street looking at them.

But it seemed that Tao hadn’t noticed the blonde’s presence as he said something that made Suho look at him surprised.

“I’m going to talk with Kris tomorrow.” 

And Tao meant those words.

His heart had been beaten for so many years and he had waited enough.

He knew Kris and a week was enough for the other to make a decision.

Was he going to accept Tao or push him away?

“I just want you to be happy…”

Those were once Kris’ words to Tao and even with all the pain of falling in love with his best friend, the panda eyed boy couldn’t deny he had been happy by Kris’ side, but now it was in the other’s hands to embrace him or let him go.

And Tao just hoped his heart could be able to take Kris answer even if he was going to push him away with hatred and disgust.

And as he waved goodbye to an absent minded Suho, he prepared himself for another night full of thoughts.

And Kris could only look at Tao from afar as the other closed the wushu studio’s door, because he had heard Tao’s words.

And he himself had to prepare for the next day, because it wasn’t in his plans to ignore Tao’s feelings anymore and he didn’t want to hurt the other as before.

Because he still remembered those trembling shoulders and those tears rolling down Tao’s cheeks.

Those memories where haunting him when all he wanted was to see the other smile and laugh.

He wanted to embrace the other and as he caressed his hair softly.

He wanted to hold Tao’s hand and tell him everything was going to be alright.

Kris wanted Tao to listen to the song he had composed for him.

Because Kris still remembered that school year when he had seen Tao in a different light.

When he have had the need to kiss the other, to touch the other.

When the other seemed to have blatantly ignored him in that sense and Kris had shut his heart to that possibility, never imagining that years later Tao would say that he had fallen in love with him.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“I don’t like when you cry Zi Tao”

**_“Then why are you making me cry?”_ **

“Are you ok?”

**_“If you are here everything is ok.”_ **

"Is there something to explain?”

**_“I guess not…”_ **

“Why Tao? Why am I making you cry?”

**_"I’m crying because I’m in love with you.”_ **


	14. Punch XIV

It was the airport.

Tao looked at the departure’s board as he checked the time in the airplane ticket he had in his hands.

“We still have time.” He said with a small smile at Kris who returned the gesture and said that they should go for a cup of coffee.

Two suitcases stood next to the table in which Kris and Tao sat.

They talked about a few random like the things like comparing the weather and time in Seoul and Canada.

How English could be so complicated sometimes and that maybe the food wouldn’t be as good as in Korea.

Neither of them knew that much about the place indicated in the airplane ticket, but they just knew that a year later it would say Vancouver-Incheon instead of the contrary as it was stated now.

And the third call for boarding surprised them as they had been lost in their conversation.

It was time to go.

Because this was only a consequence of what happened after Tao went to Kris’ apartment to listen to his decision.

Because that day Tao had lost it again.

With tears falling again from his eyes he had ended up kissing Kris sitting on the couch.

And when the kiss ended Tao realized he didn’t regret about anything that he had been through.

Because he finally had talked to Kris.

Finally an answer.

Finally…

“How can I love you the same way you love me? I have no right to…” Kris had said softly, his breath over Tao’s neck as he embraced the other.

Tao had shivered due to the action, but he knew that it was moment to make his dream come true or let go of his last bit of hope.

“Just love me the way you want Kris,…”

And he sighed before breaking the hug to look directly to Kris eyes and said the same phrase he had said to Suho before.

“…because I have loved you even before falling in love with you.”

And Kris bit his lip before holding Tao’s head and pulling him closer until their foreheads were touching.

“I have always loved you Tao...”

Kris said, but that wasn’t the end of the phrase.

Because the end of the phrase had been the one that made Tao hug him tightly as if his life depended on it.

And Kris had done the same.

And when they broke the hug and looked at each other’s eyes Tao could clearly see Kris’ feelings in there.

He understood like he always did.

And just moving his face a bit further he did it.

He kissed Kris as new tears fell from his eyes.

Because the end of the phrase had punched his heart once again.

But along with the kiss, those were the last punches he was willing to accept from his romantic love for Kris.

Because the complete phrase had been,

“I have always loved you Tao...but I’m not in love with you.”

It hurt; it was the most painful of all the punches.

But even with all the pain and the tears falling, Tao was thankful for something.

For the fact that for Kris he was the same Tao he had always known and loved.

Because even when the blonde haven’t responded to the kiss, he haven’t push the other away understanding that it was Tao’s way of saying goodbye to that feeling.

And before he knew it, Kris was also shedding tears that mixed with Tao’s ones as their lips were still connected.

And Tao just held the other’s hand without breaking the kiss.

Because he hadn’t seen Kris cry in years.

Only when his parents got into an accident in China and they had no money for the airplane ticket to go there.

And if that was the way Kris loved him…

If he loved him as part of his family, Tao could learn to accept that.

Because as he looked at Kris again, their lips not connected anymore but close enough to feel their breathing, he knew he had been dumb to think that the person he loved the most would push him away with hate and disgust.

“I’m sorry for ignoring your feelings and causing you so much pain…I’m really sorry….I’m sorry for now…I’m really sorry…” And Kris’ tears just kept falling as he hugged Tao once again.

He gave small pecks to Tao’s head as he kept saying sorry as if that could heal Tao’s heart just by saying it.

But Tao knew it wasn’t like that.

But if he had to let go of this special love for his best friend he wanted to know that at least the other was conscious of all the pain he had been through.

But at the same time he knew that even when it would require some work they would return to their normal relationship.

Because Tao knew that all the tears he had shed were worthy of the beautiful friendship he was planning to keep.

A friendship that had to overcome the pain and would overcome the time and space.

Because as Tao hugged Kris before the latter had to enter the airplane he knew that it would be like that.

“I just want you to be happy.” Kris had said after many years.

And knowing how painful it was for Tao to see him, talk to him, to be right next to him when his love for Kris was not reciprocated, the blonde had accepted a job in Canada for a year.

With promises of keeping in contact with Tao and taking care of himself he disappeared from Tao’s view after showing his boarding pass in the counter.

And even when it pained Kris, he considered this the best option; because he really wanted Tao to be happy and he had thought about this decision a lot.

He had even talked with Suho. 

And after knowing more about the other, he realized the deep feelings the red haired guy had for Tao and this was a way of letting their love flourish, because Tao deserved someone who loved him like that.


	15. Punch XV

Suho tapped his foot on the floor nervously.

A couple of days more and it would be exactly a year since he finally met Tao at the wushu studio after Kris left Korea.

After the blonde left the country Tao had hidden from the world for some days and Suho couldn’t contact him at all and when he finally got to the see the panda eyed boy, Suho only received a tired smile.

Those days crying, those days trying to let go.

But it was a beginning.

A beginning that Suho appreciated giving the other one of his huge and gentle smiles.

But the pace had been slow, and Suho could only rely on his patience.

He was even jealous of Jongin as the other continued making fun of Kyungsoo, but they still held hands and hugged each other after every class, while Suho could only wave goodbye to Tao.

But he could still recall that sudden jolt of energy he felt when it was Tao who held his hand while they were walking side by side.

Suho respecting Tao’s decision haven’t held his hand again, but when they walked he always made sure to keep it closer to the other’s hand just in case Tao would want to take the first step.

And as he felt the other’s hand on his he gave it a light squeeze to assure him that everything will be fine.

And Tao gave him a small smile that made Suho smile even more.

But Suho couldn’t thank his patience more when it was Tao the one hugging him goodbye.

Suho liked the feeling of being surprised by the other’s sudden actions, because even when he constantly expected the other to do something, nothing could compare to the feeling of having Tao’s arms around him when he less expected.

And the months kept passing and even when things were still going slowly Suho was more than happy to be able to hold Tao’s hand and hug the other.

But it was in one of the wushu classes that Suho still dreaded, if not for being with Tao, that he saw something that made him smile even more.

He had finally managed to complete a series of wushu movements and Tao seemed so proud of him.

But it was when Suho told him he had the best wushu master, along with a soft gaze and a lovely smile that Tao had blushed.

Suho refused to believe it was due to the practice and that even if Tao’s face was a bit red by doing the wushu movements he was sure the red that covered Tao's cheeks was more noticeable after his words.

And things kept moving like that as there were more times when Tao would avoid his gaze in a cute gesture as his cheeks would turn pink by Suho’s intense gaze or kind words.

But Suho could feel his heart pounding like crazy the day he finally got to ask the question he had meant to ask long ago.

He had been patient, but he couldn’t wait anymore.

“Would you be my boyfriend?”

Just five words and Tao’s eyes widened and his world stopped for a moment.

Suho’s voice sounded nervous and he gulped as he looked at Tao waiting for his answer.

This time it was Tao’s moment to decide, and considering everything that had happened, he was just so thankful that Suho had been so patient with him giving him time to let go of Kris slowly.

So the panda eyed boy bit his lip before nodding slowly, but seeing that Suho wasn’t reacting to that and kept looking at him with an expectant look he knew he had to say it out loud.

“Yes.”

And Suho’s nervous face turned into a bolt of happiness as a smile as radiant as the sun displayed on his face.

He hugged Tao with such strength that he lifted the other from the floor surprising him.

But as a small chuckle left Tao’s lips Suho’s happiness increased even more.

But when they stood again in front of each other Tao’s nervousness got the best of him and he looked to the floor while fidgeting with his fingers.

He was Suho’s boyfriend now and the other had the right to ask for a kiss in the lips.

But Tao wasn’t sure if he was prepared for that.

His feelings for Suho were slowly developing.

It wasn’t easy considering he had love Kris for so long and that it was so painful.

He was afraid that all this happiness that Suho made him feel could disappear as easily as the other made it appear.

But as always Suho knew better than to scare Tao, with a soft kiss to the black haired boy’s forehead he finalized the glorious moment in which Tao had accepted to be his boyfriend.

And with every week that passed Suho remembered why he loved surprises, mostly when Tao invited him to his apartment for dinner.

He had eaten Tao’s food before when the other brought his home made food to the wushu studio, and Suho had to admit it was amazing.

But finally entering Tao’s house meant something different.

The other was finally letting him enter a really important place in his life, as the other had said that only Kris had been there before.

And to Suho’s disappointment that seemed more than true, because in the living room there were a couple of pictures and both of them had Tao and Kris in them.

But Suho wasn’t going to let that ruin his first visit to Tao’s apartment because he was sure he was going to be there more often.

And even when his visit only included the living room and the kitchen where they ate their meal, Suho looked his fascination how both places were so comfortable and had Tao’s essence in them.

And also watching Tao cooking could easily turn into one of Suho’s favorite activities.

The other looked so focused, just like when he was practicing wushu, but at the same time he looked relaxed as he hummed a song while cutting the vegetables and moved around the place.

But it was the surprise in Tao’s face that made Suho chuckle.

He had started to sing along with Tao’s humming, a cheesy song of how Tao looked so charming while cooking.

And once again Suho radiant smile welcomed Tao’s light pink cheeks that turned redder with Suho unmoving gaze on the other.

And the dinner was great as Suho had thought it would be.

A light conversation and Tao not refusing when Suho wanted to feed him.

But maybe it was more than Suho had imagined, because surprises were always good.

And a light kiss on his cheek was all he needed to smile for the rest of the week, if not more.

But holding hands, sweet words, hugs, and cheek kisses…all seemed to disappear at the mention of Kris’ name from Tao’s lips.

Even when the other hadn’t seen the blonde face for months, because Kris had only been in contact through written messages, Suho could see the happiness that radiated from the panda eyed boy every time he exchanged messages with Kris.

‘He is his best friend after all.’

And Suho had to remind himself of that every time that situation happened.

But his world seemed to shatter for a moment when Tao came to him with a bright smile saying that in a few days Kris would be back in Korea.

In Seoul.

In Tao’s presence.

And that scared Suho to death.

Things have been progressing, but he felt that time was escaping from his hands as he still needed more time to let Tao’s feelings grow for him.

What if Kris’ return made Tao waver?

What if in the time Kris had been away he discovered that he loved Tao in a different way?

And that is why his feet couldn’t stop tapping on the floor as Tao was getting ready to go to the airport to pick Kris.

“Ok, let’s go~”

Tao’s sudden words made him look up at the other and gave him a small smile.

He couldn’t say his worries out loud; he didn’t want to make Tao uncomfortable.

But his heart still felt heavy seeing Tao so happy by the other’s return.

And as they sat on the subway seat ready for the hour long ride, Suho couldn’t take his eyes out of Tao.

The other started telling him something about Jongin and Kyungsoo fighting the other day in class and how Kyungsoo once again kicked Jongin’s ass.

But Suho wasn’t really paying attention.

Would that smile still be there when Kris returned?

Would Tao remain by his side?

Would Tao still hold his hand like now?

Would he be able to put his arm around Tao to hold him close as the other dozed with his head resting on his shoulder?

Because that was all Suho could see at the moment as he softly caressed Tao’s face and the other got even more comfortable in his embrace.


	16. Punch XVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading until the end! hope you liked the story :D

Kris knew that maybe it will turn awkward, but he couldn’t help it, because as soon as he saw Tao waiting for him, he ran to the other’s side and hugged him tightly.

It had been a year.

A year of wanting to hug Tao, and nothing could make the moment better as Tao’s arms were around him too.

“Welcome home~” Tao said softly and Kris knew he was smiling.

Kris was finally home and he hoped this time he did things right.

No more avoiding Tao and finally being completely honest with each other.

Because he was almost sure he had made the right decision by going to Canada for a year as Tao seemed to return to his normal self as time passed by.

Kris knew he had hurt Tao and he regretted that he had not been able to recognize the feelings the other had for him.

For as much as Tao meant for him, all he could see in the other was a best friend.

It was true that his ex-girlfriend was so similar to him, but Tao was Tao, and in Kris’ heart he was just a brother.

He could only love him in that way.

That is why it had pained him so much knowing that he couldn’t return the feelings the other had for him, because Tao was great and he just deserved to be happily in love.

And that is why Kris just hoped one year had been enough for Tao to really give a chance to the guy that stood just a few meters from them with a shocked expression.

But Suho wasn’t shocked about the hug between Kris and Tao.

Suho could barely notice that interaction as he still could feel his lips burning.

Because Tao could have been happy knowing that Kris was coming back, but he couldn’t ignore Suho’s nervousness and anxiousness that showed all the way to the airport.

And oh, did Suho mention he loved surprises?

Because just as the passengers of Kris’ flight started walking through the doors greeting their families and friends, Tao pulled him to a side making his back collide with one of the columns of the building before putting his lips on top of Suho’s ones, silencing any word that he was planning to say.

And just by that action Suho’s brain died, his heart stopped, and his body froze…and words were non-existing, because nothing could describe how he felt.

And the kiss had ended with Tao’s cheeky smile before he ran away.

For many people it would have been just a simple kiss, but for Suho it meant the world, because that was the way Tao was reassuring him that everything would be alright, just like when he first held his hand.

“Suho…”

He heard his name being called and he finally remembered where he was as he saw Tao’s face that carried a small smile and Kris’ face by his side with the same expression.

“Welcome…” Suho said a bit breathless as if he had run to the place.

He wasn’t really comfortable with Kris.

Not only for the fact that he had hurt Tao and that he suddenly wanted to talk to him saying that he was going to Canada and hoped he could take care of Tao.

But also because of that piercing look Kris had that only seemed to melt in Tao’s presence.

“We should go back, Suho has to work.” Tao said softly and Suho looked at him bewildered.

Oh, right. He had to work.

He had to work leaving Tao and Kris alone.

But as the still blonde man walked a bit ahead of them, Tao held his hand giving him a small smile, and Suho knew everything would be alright.

Because of course the fact that everything would be alright had nothing to do with Tao’s blushing face as Suho gave him a small kiss on the lips before they continued walking to the exit.

And as they parted ways, Suho went to the bookstore while Kris and Tao went to the blonde’s apartment.

Tao started cooking and Kris looked at him from his seat in the living room.

Tao still hummed when he cooked, Kris noticed as he started to fall asleep in the couch.

And when the food was finally ready, Tao called the other, but as he didn’t receive an answer he went to the living room.

In there, Kris was lying on the couch sleeping.

Tao smiled looking at the other shifting in the couch as he was too tall to fit properly.

It was a cute image, but Tao’s heart didn’t flutter like before.

He didn’t want to caress Kris’ face or kiss him without the other noticing.

So he just shook Kris’ shoulder waking him up.

“The food is ready~” Tao said with a smile.

But Kris didn’t move from his position and pouted when he look up at Tao.

The panda eyed boy knew what that meant and just sighed.

“But you are washing the dishes…” He said before disappearing from the room and returning to the living room with the food.

Kris was about to complain until he saw his favorite dishes lying on the living room table.

He gave Tao a big smile before turning the T.V on.

The sat in silence for a moment only focusing on the T.V

It had been more than one year since the last time they sat on the same couch.

And the tears they had shared that day had marked their hearts.

And suddenly eating lunch had turned into an awkward situation.

All the messages exchanged didn’t compare to being sitting just next to the other.

And Kris hated how things looked at the moment.

He didn’t want this.

He wanted Tao to be as carefree as in the last messages he had sent him.

“Tao you trust me, don’t you?” Kris suddenly asked knowing that he had to take the first step.

And Tao just turned to look at him and nodded.

“Then you will answer me honestly if I ask you something, right?”

Tao nodded again, a bit confused and worried about Kris’ next question.

“Is that a hickey what I see in your neck?”

Tao’s face flushed at the sudden statement and he started coughing uncontrollably as Kris started to laugh.

But Tao punched his arm in reply, not lightly, making Kris yelp but still continue laughing.

“So it is, or it isn’t?” Kris continued teasing the other and Tao practically jumped on top of him when the other took out his phone from his pocket.

“I can always call Suho and ask him why he has been corrupting you~” Kris said and started laughing again.

“Make that call and I’ll never cook for you again!” Tao successfully threated the other as Kris stopped laughing and pouted.

“One year without your food was enough…” Kris said and before Tao could reply, he grabbed one of the dishes from the living room table and started eating happily.

Tao tried to hide his smile with a sigh before he was surprised when Kris suddenly jumped from his seat pointing to the T.V.

“I can believe that program is still airing~!”

And Tao this time really smiled seeing his friend reaction.

That was the same show that more than one year ago they have watched in Tao’s apartment and Kris was still as funny when imitating the hosts making Tao laugh out loud.

And as their laughs invaded the place, Tao could easily remember why he had decided to hide his feelings from Kris in the first time, why he had hidden all the pain, why he had confessed, and why he had finally let go.

Because it could seem that Kris had left to Canada for Tao’s sake, and it was like that in one sense, but it was also for himself.

It was shocking for him to know Tao was in love with him.

That his best friend was in love with him.

That his best friend was into guys.

That he couldn’t love his best friend more than that.

Because Tao had punched Kris’ heart with each tear.

With each secret and with each lie.

By not trusting him enough to tell him the truth.

Because Tao had preferred to suffer in silence and Kris had preferred to ignore all of it, and that is why it hurt even more when everything was revealed.

And even when things would need even more time to heal completely, Tao preferred to only remember the happy punches he had received.

Because now he could hold hands, hug and kiss without tears.

Because after all the pain, Tao knew how meaningful it was every little thing Suho was willing to do for him.

Because Suho had opened his heart for him, his guard completely down.

Because every rejection was a punch for Suho’s heart.

But now hearts seemed to be healing and even when Tao knew that wushu couldn’t help protecting them, being honest and being patient would made the pain bearable.

Because just as in a wushu fight, you have the chances to get punched, but the pain only be worthy if you know you gave your best in the fight.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes~ and hopefully the format is not too weird for you~ XD


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